>> Saturday, April 4, 2009
I love my granddaughter, but sometimes I don't think she listens to me. I didn't want to be here. If I stayed at home, I'd be fine. I don't care what the doctor said. Sometimes a sim just needs something to keep her busy is all.
But my granddaughter was rather insistent I see the doctor once my cold turned to pneumonia. There are times when she is even more stubborn than I am. It still surprises me.
"Why am I even here, Alberta? What can this woman do for me?"
"Mrs. Palahniuk," The doctor, Natalie, says to me in a gentle voice reserved for the very young or the very old, "Please. I understand your concerns. But we can at least give you a place to spend your days in comfort."
I can see Alberta putting her head down when the doctor says that. "And just who will take care of my granddaughter?"
Natalie glances over at Alberta with pity clear on her face. "Mrs. Palahniuk, do you really believe it would be better for you to stay home with her when the time comes?"
I roll my eyes. "You are a doctor aren't you? So why don't you just come out and say it?"
Natalie sits up and speaks frankly for the first time since we got there. "You are dying, and I think it would be best for you and for Alberta if you spent your last days here."
Alberta visits me as I get weaker. I know she worries.
But there isn't much to say and there's never enough time to say what does need to be said. "I love you" doesn't do enough to say how much she means to me. My daughter's daughter in almost every way. I hope I have done enough, made her stronger and smarter so that she won't be taken advantage of.
"Bye Gran'ma," she says softly into my ear. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."
Only Alberta would know how to say those word in such a way that I can almost believe her.